I don`t want to censor myself

I want to pull this head off my shoulders so I can think

I pull at my hair, stiff my neck, it`s still not me

I want to cry louder, my brother`s next door

I can`t take it but can`t make it stop

I wish it was obvious, I wish it was constant

I fucking wish it was in my blood tests

I want to tear at my scalp and find my own brain

I don`t believe it`s in there anymore