it doesn’t work but I need something

when I feel a low creeping
I shut off my eyes
filter my ears
fake a smile and try to describe beauty

often I place my mind at sea, crashing waves, seagulls and seagulls and seagulls crying my name, the smell of sweet salt, the breeze a bit too cold, sun setting or rising

at times I look to the stars, find Orion who reminds me of home, imagine the space that separates him from me, undeniable and beautiful, a gorgeous mystery

sometimes it’s fire I remember, the secret hidden magic that haunts me when I need it to, warmth, love, a strange familiarity

in the winter, I remember summer
when I’m lonely, I remember not being alone