I wish I was only dreaming I was back:

a lost girl, wearing cotton and curls

back in time with winter, with hell.

only a nightmare she can’t escape,

only a pain she might forget.

she might not have secrets that follow her,

alarming, cans for the newlyweds.

any secret burning out is only a memory for her,

it burns out like a flame, not her skin, not her soul.

her fear is a dream that might shift,

a candle, cat’s eyes, the stars.