gin and fresca work well together

the way the hot water feels cold for that split second before it burns you

the way a running tub sounds with ears underwater

like it’s stealing me to life and death

like it shoots straight through one ear to the other side

the way it takes me, the way it rescues.

I won’t mention that it’s the only way I know to calm down,

I won’t mention how much I need it,

I won’t say that it makes me feel alive.

when my music stops and each noise is louder and I savour my breaths,

I won’t say that I fear opening my eyes and breaking my world